How to be a Messy Artist

Cut your hair. That is first and foremost, and one of the most important steps.

Wake up six hours after your partner leaves for work. Pretend your deadline did not keep you up last night. Look, there’s your cat. Pet his head, touch his nose.

He missed you when you were sleeping.

You do not have to drink coffee. Many artists choke down coffee for the aesthetic. You can drink tea. Water, vodka, bourbon, juice, chocolate milk. Paint water.

It was once believed that Van Gogh drank paint to cheer himself up. We now know his cocktail of yellow paint and turpentine was a method of self-poisoning.

You think of that often, while painting sunflowers.

Create something. Tie your hair up. Put on your glasses. You know what to do, but you do not have the energy. Things seem so exhausting right now.

Hunch over your project for three hours. Waste two of those hours. Your shirt and your hands are a mess.

There is the front door buzzing.

You grab the mail. Your internet is due in two weeks.

Take regular breaks.

Stand and look out the window for half an hour. Think about the 1997 Jarrell, Texas tornado. Your apartment would probably not hold up in a severe tornado.

Spin in a small circle. Try to get your taxes done. Procrastinate your taxes by starting the dishes. Stop the dishes halfway through.